Real Jersey People.

I drink Corona from the bottle,
or Absolut straight up
I spend my weekends at the mall,
My summers down the shore,
And late nights in a diner, with a plate of cheese fries.

I know which exits are which,
and that there’s no decent beaches north of 100.
I spent prom weekend in Seaside,
and many a summer on LBI.
I know the mob isn’t just on the Sopranos.

I know better than to drive through Camden,
and that there are nice areas of Elizabeth.

I know what good pizza & good bagels taste like,
I eat Boardwalk fries, zeppoles, & CASE’s porkroll on a hard roll.

I love to feel the wind in my hair,
and the sand between my toes.
I know there’s no place on Earth quite like New Jersey.
And that no matter where life takes me,
this will always be home.

AND YOU KNOW YOU’RE FROM JERSEY WHEN:

You’ve been seriously injured at Action Park .

You know that the only people who call it “Joisey”
are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas .

You don’t think of citrus when people mention “The Oranges.”
You know that it’s called “Great Adventure,”
not “Six Flags.”
You’ve ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.
You’ve known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
You’ve eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.
Whenever you park, there’s a Camaro within three spots of you.
You remember that the “Two Guys” were from Harrison .
You know that the state isn’t one big oil refinery.

You know what a “jug handle” is.
If you were born and raised in New Jersey,
it was either North Jersey,
Central Jersey or South Jersey .

You say the words “water,” “coffee,” “dog” and “whatever”, like this
“wadder”, “cawfee”, “dawg” and “wadever”.

You know that there are no “beaches” in New Jersey –
there’s “The Shore,”
and you know that the road to the shore is “The Parkway”
not “The Garden State Highway .”
You know that “Piney” isn’t referring to a tree.

Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs,
and, you call it a”sub”
not a “submarine sandwich” or worse yet, a “hoagy” or a “hero.”

You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials..
You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.

You know that “Acme” is an actual store,
not just a Warner Bros creation.

You know that this is the only “New...” state that doesn’t require “New” to identify it
(try ... Mexico , ..... York , ...Hampshire - doesn’t work, does it?)

You know how to translate this conversation:
”Jeet yet?” “No, Jew?”

You only go to New York City for day trips,
and you only call it “The City..”

You know that a “ White Castle “
is the name of BOTH a fast food chain
AND a fast food sandwich.

You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.

You don’t think “What exit” (do you live near?) is very funny.
You know that the real first “strip shopping center” in the country is Route 22.
You know that people from 609 area code are “a little different.”

You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton -
that’s for out-of-staters.

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.
You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.

Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony.
You know where every “clip” shown in the Sopranos opening credits is.

You’ve eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries.
You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.
You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.

And finally...

You’ve sure as hell never pumped your own gas.