_bbR3iY5lLSjzaZNziPYc6VX6tk Inspiration CAN be found EVERYWHERE!: Such a bad weekend

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Such a bad weekend

It has been the weekend from Hell, when it should have been a happy time. Tax season is just about over (ok at least the craziest part of it), Easter is here and next Saturday is my "baby's" birthday (even though she's definitely NOT a baby anymore). Instead it is a weekend I would love to forget.

The weekend started with a horrific day at work on Friday. It was definitely NOT one of my brightest days in the office - I was very close to walking out and telling the powers that be that I had had enough of the unprofessional characters in the office. But I just bit my lip (after telling a partner he had better do something about a radio that was playing some crap - that I had already asked to have lowered for the 4th time) and left the office around 6PM.

My son, who had just finished working a 13+ hours shift came home to eat something and go to sleep since he was exhausted (it was his second 12 hour shift in 2 days that went longer than 12 hours) when he was called out for an accident on the highway. He is a volunteer fireman and EMT. He didn't get home until 4AM because of a very nasty accident that will probably haunt all those involved for many years to come, because it involved a fatality. He practically crawled back in to try to sleep for a few hours before he had to go to a class for the fire department.

He and I left around 8, going in opposite directions. My daughter sent me a text in the late morning saying she heard something about one of her best friends and couldn't find anything to confirm it. At 1PM she text me that it was true. She said that one of her best friends died the night before on the highway. Needless to say she was beside herself with tears and sadness. I came home to be with her and try to find out any information we could.

What we found was that yes it was true. He had died on the highway around 1AM Saturday morning. Yes, we found out later, it was the same accident that my son had been on that night. He was a baby, he had just turned 17 last month.

My dear sweet daughter was so beside herself because she felt like she should have been there for him. She should have called him more, been there for him more, that maybe he would have come here Friday night instead of being out and dying.

This morning I made her go to work for 8AM. Because she had introduced this boy to one of the girls she works with, and they had started dating, she felt responsible for the girl as well. When the girl called in to work and said she couldn't come in to work today - all the "top" management people came to my daughter to ask what happened. Of course that just made her "relive" the whole thing. She called me at 7:55 telling me she wanted to come home, she couldn't work, please come get her because she was too upset to drive. I told her that of course she could work her shift - she had to, but I would be down in 5 minutes. I run down to work to calm her down so that she could stay for her shift. It took a little bit, but finally she was calmed down and able to go back in. I just told her to think of all the good times that they had together. I told her that if ANYONE (and that meant any bosses as well) started asking questions, to just tell them that she was having a hard enough time as it is and didn't want to discuss it now. When she came home at 12:45 - she was exhausted, mentally and physically.

I am so mad that both of my kids have had to deal with this. And then I feel mad at myself for feeling this way. I feel such sorrow for the other people involved in this tragic accident. I feel so sad and sorry for the family and all the friends that he has left behind. So many people were touched by this and unfortunately many of them will never be the same. I don't know how the family will deal with this - he was just so young.


Pam said...

I'm so sorry for all that you and your family are dealing with. I hope that your family finds some peace and the friends/families of the boy find a way to deal with this tragedy.

annie kelleher said...

im so sorry to hear of all that happened. please let me know if i can be of help to you or your family as you deal with this loss.... feel free to contact me privately if you wish... xox.... annie

Anonymous said...

That is such a burden for young adults to try to process. I am so sorry for this loss in their lives.

NJDecorator said...

I hope that now that a week has passed your family is feeling a bit more peaceful. Death is hard enough to cope with when we are older, but at have to deal with it so young doubles the anguish.