Today's Email "Specialty"

None of that 'Sis'-sy Stuff
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here are a series of promises that actually speak of True Friendship.
You WON'T see cutesy little smiley faces
on this card - Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad,
I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!

2.When you are blue,
I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3.When you smile,
I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4.When you're scared,
we will high tail it out of here.

5.When you are worried,
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6.When you are confused,
I will use little words.

7.When you are sick,
Stay away from me until you are well again.
I don't want whatever you have.

8.When you fall,
I'll pick you up and dust you off--
After I laugh my rear off!!

9.This is my oath...
I pledge it to the end.
'Why?' you may ask;
-- because you are my FRIEND!
Friendship is like peeing your pants,
everyone can see it,
but only YOU can feel the true warmth.